For a long time decaf earned its reputation. It was the leftover coffee, decaffeinated with industrial solvents, roasted dark to hide the damage and served to whoever was unlucky enough to ask. That coffee still exists. It's just not the only option any more.
How caffeine is removed
Caffeine is taken out of the green, unroasted bean before it ever reaches a roaster. There are four main methods.
Solvent process. Beans are steamed, then washed with methylene chloride or ethyl acetate to pull out the caffeine. Cheap, effective, and the source of most of decaf's bad press, although the chemicals are removed before roasting.
Sugarcane process. Technically a solvent method too, but the solvent is ethyl acetate made by fermenting sugarcane, which is why it's often labelled "natural" decaf. It's mostly done in Colombia, where sugarcane is grown alongside coffee. It removes caffeine gently and leaves a lot of sweetness and body behind. Some people pick up a faint fruity, almost cider-like note from it, which suits espresso and milk drinks well.
Swiss Water process. No chemicals at all. Beans are soaked in water that's already saturated with coffee's flavour compounds, so only the caffeine moves out. Very clean result, a bit pricier.
CO2 process. Pressurised carbon dioxide draws out the caffeine. Also clean, mostly used at industrial scale.
Why modern decaf tastes better
Two reasons. The processes are gentler, so more flavour survives. And roasters now start with good coffee rather than the dregs, then roast it properly instead of charring it. Our decaf is a sugarcane-process Ethiopian Sidamo, chosen because the origin's natural sweetness and fruit stand up well to decaffeination. Made as a flat white, most people can't pick it.
Is it completely caffeine free?
No. Decaffeination removes around 97 per cent of the caffeine. A decaf flat white has somewhere in the range of 2 to 5mg, compared with roughly 80 to 150mg in a regular double shot. Enough that the ritual feels the same, not enough to keep you up.
When decaf makes sense
The afternoon coffee, the one after dinner, the second one at brunch, pregnancy, or anyone who loves the taste more than the buzz. Half-caff is another option: blend a decaf and a regular bag 50/50 in the grinder and you halve your intake without changing your routine.
If your last decaf was ten years ago, try one made properly. It's a different drink.